Tuesday, February 28, 2012

I'm Burying the Title of This Post at the Bottom

You'll thank me in a bit.

Yesterday morning, as is my habit, I got Cullen out of his bed and brought him to mine.

Hubs takes Christian to school around 7:30, and I usually get up at that time and get Cullen. If I allow him to stay in his bed, he will wake Cavan up, long before Cavan is ready. If I make Cullen come "sleep" in my bed with me, it usually buys me another hour or two of sleep, and both boys are more rested.

Yesterday when Cullen and I got up, he went to check on Cavan, while I stopped to get a drink of water. I quickly noticed the boys' door was open, and their light was already on.

Cullen was standing at their door, staring into their room, and being eerily quiet as he watched his little brother.

So I had a sneaking suspicion something was wrong.

Cavan wasn't wearing the pajamas he went to bed in the night before.

Cavan wasn't even wearing the diaper he went to bed in the night before.

He was completely naked.

He had apparently pooped in his diaper, and instead of calling for me, he took it upon himself to remove said diaper.

He put on a pair of underwear, which, at some point, he peed in, and completely soaked.

So he took those off, and put on another pair. Those were apparently uncomfortable, what with all the poop on his body, so he just discarded those, too.

There was poop everywhere. He had smeared it all over the floor, and all over the bathroom door. His hands, feet and legs were covered with it.

So before I had so much as a bite of toast or sip of caffeine, I was scrubbing poop off the floor (a dark wood floor, which made it hard to see where it all was. Fun game: Find the Poo.) and the bathroom door. I'm not sure why or how, but there were also little balls of it inside the bathroom. I don't know if he invented a new game, and was rolling it under the door, or what.

My next job was to clean all the fabrics in the room, including, but not limited to: blankets, sheets, pillowcases, stuffed animals, pillows, clothing, curtains, etc...

I got him out of the bath (where I had stashed him while I cleaned) and put fresh underwear on him, along with a pair of plastic, waterproof underwear that I just found at Target this past weekend. I thought maybe he wouldn't like the feeling of being soaked or dirty, if there wasn't a diaper to wick it all away.

Was I ever wrong.

Could not be more wrong.

Basically, the plastic underwear trapped all the nastiness inside, so I had no idea it was even there, until Cavan was jumping on Cullen, and Cullen said Cavan smelled bad.

Great.

Mind you, I had been asking him every few minutes if he needed to go potty.

So I took him into my bathroom, removed his shorts and the plastic underwear, and was met with a stench so powerful it turns my stomach just thinking about it.

It was as if the plastic trapped all his body heat, cooked the nastiness, and magnified the smell. I've smelled that smell before. Usually I smell it when Cavan has an accident, and somebody wraps his nasty clothes in a plastic bag, and never tells me about it. When I find the package, days later, the smell has mutated into something so grotesque it doesn't bear thinking about.

So I took the nasty clothes off, went to wash them, too, and scrubbed him. Again.

I put him in a diaper, and put the boys down for a nap.

When they got up, I put Cavan in clean underwear, and a new pair of plastic underwear.

And a couple hours later, repeated my afternoon all over again. Except this time, after he had pooped in his underwear, he took them off and threw them in the trash, hoping I wouldn't find out.

So I was cleaning up poo, for the THIRD time in one day.

And now, for the title of my post...



It Was A Shitty Day



So sorry, but it really and truly was.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

The Things I Hope I Remember Years From Now

I have discovered, not recently, that boys (especially young ones) are much different than girls.

As a baby, toddler and preschooler, Christian could have cared less about the toilet, or how it worked.

She didn't try to destroy everything around her.

She wasn't determined to aggravate the dog.

She pretty much was just a sweet, adorable little girl, with an active imagination.

Her brothers? Not so much.

This morning, Cullen was in the bathroom in his room. (SIDEBAR: I HATE that there is a bathroom in the boys' room. HATE. IT.)

He began laughing hysterically, and yelling, "MOM! THERE'S WATER EVER-WHERE! HAHAHAHAHA!!! IT'S EVER-WHERE!!!"

I flew in there, to discover he had clogged the toilet. AGAIN. Water was running over the top, down the sides, and across the floor. There was water all the way into the bedroom. I immediately grabbed towels and threw them on the puddles, then started in on the clog. These toilets are OLD. As in, the design of modern toilets is significantly different, and modern plungers don't always fit these old set-ups. So with every plunge, I was sending nasty water, and about 14 pounds of soaked toilet paper, flowing back over the top of the toilet. So I had to skim a few bowl-fuls of water out of the toilet before I could actually do any damage to the clog.

Good times.








Then there was the other day:


Cavan was chasing Bo around the backyard with a shovel-- which is a definite no-no. So I called him in the house, to hold him accountable.

Me: "Cavan, were you chasing my dog around the backyard with a shovel?"

Cavan: "No. I was chasing our dog around the backyard with a shovel."

Yeah. 'Cause that's better. Wow. Semantics at two years old.









Christian had a friend spend the night last weekend. They were putting on a show for us the next morning, and Cullen said he wanted to be in the show, too.

Christian: "No, Cullen. It's a FRIENDship show, not a BROTHERship show.

Cullen: "Well... I need to go to the DEALERship, then."









Most nights, I have two naked little boys, fresh from the bath, alternating between flashing me with their towels and yelling, "SEE MY PEE-PEE, MOMMY!" and bending over and lifting their towels while yelling, "SEE MY HEINIE, MOMMY!"

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: "I've seen it, and I'm not impressed."









A few days ago, Cullen came in, fully dressed, holding a (toy) gun, and said, "Okay. I'm ready. I need to go outside so I can shoot some women."


I'm sorry; WHAAAAAAAAAT???










A few weeks ago I told Christian that this is our LAST baby. 

She said, "What if God gives you 15 babies?"

{Then I will have to kill myself!} I didn't actually say that.

What I did say was, "God won't."

"But he gave the Duggars 19 babies," she said.

"I'm NOT the Duggars. And this conversation is over."










My sweet sister-in-law posted this to my facebook wall, and I thought it was worthy of sharing with the rest of you!

Me (Kelsey): what are you building with those Legos?

Cullen: somethin' beautiful for you. I love buildin' beautiful things for girls.

Me (Kelsey): aww! That's so sweet!

Cullen: I love girls. Girls are fat. Girls are fat but boys aren't.

Me (Kelsey): wait...what?

Cullen: I love fat girls.

Ha ha ha! Love that kid! Maybe he means we're "phat"? Yeah, let's just go with that theory :)



He followed the conversation up with: "Shadow, Shadow's fat. But he's a dog. He's supposed to be fat." (unlike us women, I assume? Ha!)









One morning Cavan picked up my empty tea cup, set it on the floor, and then pretended to pee in it. He even blessed me with a "SSSSSSSSS" sound to make sure I knew what he was doing.

"See, Mommy? I gave you some more!"

HOW DO THEY COME UP WITH THIS STUFF???????

(I can assure you, it's NOT something they've seen!)









The other day, Christian was snacking on pickles, when she found this in the jar:



It was the teeny-tiniest little pickle I've ever seen, and she got such a kick out of it! She said there was one  even smaller in the jar, but it kept floating away from her fork and she couldn't get to it.


After she showed it to me, and allowed me to take a picture of (one of) the world's smallest pickles, she "celebrated" by eating it!


And I just kept taking pictures of my sweet little girl...


Giggling and rolling around on my bed.


She's so much fun, and growing so fast.



So I hope I remember this little face, years from now!

Friday, February 17, 2012

Not the Usual Valentine's Day

Because we had this in our yard:


Well. That was just tooooo much temptation for two little boys, so the Coast Guard crew let them climb aboard.


And Cullen wasn't self-conscious at all! 


He just climbed right on up.


And Cavvie followed right behind, as usual.


They quickly found it's not as easy to climb into this boat, as it is to climb into ours!


But Cullen figured it out.


Cavvie needed a little help.


Once up there, they had to figure out what they wanted to attempt to destroy first.


Hmmmmm.... decisions, decisions.


Whatever will we try to break?


Something over there looks interesting...


Thank goodness the door was locked! I'm sure there is waaaaaaay too much they could damage in there!


Dang. Foiled again.


Since they were locked out of the control room, they decided to climb on the gun mount.


Unfortunately for them, (but FORTUNATELY FOR US!!!) the machine gun was safely stowed elsewhere.


Next, they decided to try to start the motors, but since we were on dry land, and the boat was attached to a truck, they really couldn't hit the open seas.


We made them get off the boat, and we took these treats to Christian's class party.


She designed them herself, down to the red tulip cupcake papers, and the pepto-bismol colored icing. They were triple chocolate cake, with white chocolate amaretto filling and vanilla buttercream. Christian got a little happy with the cupcake corer, so I think there was more filling than cake.


These were the treat boxes she asked me to make for her teachers.


I'm happy with how her Valentines turned out. I photoshopped the background out, and put in a bunch of colored hearts, per her request.



After we dropped all the goodies off at the school, we headed to the next county over, where I met with our builder and picked up a more detailed version of our blueprints!!!

More on that, later.

I hope your Valentine's Day was full of good things! Ours certainly was!

Thursday, February 16, 2012

The Time, It is Slipping Away

From me, that is.

This baby will be born in four months. FOUR. MONTHS.

My new house will not be finished before then. I have resigned myself to that fact.

In six months, Christian will be in the fifth grade, and Cullen will start kindergarten. This just breaks my heart. I love them so, so, sooooo much.

Christian had Hubs and me all to herself for over four years, before Cullen came along. 

Then I quit my teaching job to stay home with them. During the days, it was just Cullen and me. For two years. 

Then this little guy came along.


And stole my heart all over again. I didn't even realize it was still there for the taking, but it was.


But it just makes me so very sad to think that he is the only one of my children that won't have me all to himself, even for a short time.


I envisioned the coming year so much differently than it's turning out.


I thought our house would be finished by now, and we'd be all moved in, or, at the very least, almost finished with construction.


My heart was set on having Cavan all to myself this next school year.


I've been preparing myself for Cullen to be gone during the day, and just typing that brings on a flood of tears. It just breaks my heart, thinking of him not being here every day.


I'm not ready for him to grow up. I'm not ready for him to be gone all day.


But I just really, really wanted Cavan to experience what Christian and Cullen did: undivided attention, and lots of hugs, kisses and snuggles all to himself.


He gets bunches; with a face like this one, it would take a heart of stone to resist! He is such a loving, snuggly little guy. I can't sit down for a minute without him sitting so close to me that I can't move, or just taking over my lap. Most days, he and Cullen fight over who gets to sit right next to me, and who gets my lap. Either way, I'm more focused on kissing their sweet cheekies and the tops of their heads, than in anything else around me.


 I know God's plans are better than mine, but, wow, does it hurt letting them go.


This little guy just brings so much joy to my days, even as he brings destruction!


He's active, and curious, and extremely intelligent. He has a personality all his own, and it is such a blessing to experience on a daily basis.


He loves to stay busy. We picked up a fire-engine-boat-thingy from Home Depot, and I "helped" him put it together.


He just loves "working." A few months ago, a construction site went up for a hotel being built on the edge of town. Hubs told Cullen that he better show up at the job site early the next morning, to report for work. He said it was time Cullen got a job. He was FOUR. So first thing the next morning, Cullen told me that I needed to drive him over to the construction site so he could get to work! Funnier still, was that he was perfectly serious, and not at all happy with me that I wouldn't do it!


Back to the boat: he painted it himself. I showed him where the wood glue and nails went, and he did that, too.


And of course, was super-proud of his masterpiece!

I am so going to miss this face next year.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Just Look at All the Red!

Well, it finally arrived. My friend's Valentine party that I've been preparing for, for over a month.


We had to make a box to hold our valentines, just like when we were in elementary school. I decided to make mine a birdcage. Hubs and I brainstormed ways to build it. I bought all the supplies, Hubs built it, and I decorated it. The birds' perch is hanging from red heart-shaped glass beads.


You can't really tell, but that thing is alive with glitter. I cut shingles out of red paper, and then sprayed the entire roof with red glitter. It's really beautiful. The rest of the cage is white, with silver glitter.

Christian's class party is Tuesday, and her teacher said she could bring my birdcage to use as her school valentine box. She's pretty excited, and I'm more than a little surprised that her teacher said yes!


These were the valentines I made.


They're tiny strawberry cakes, covered in chocolate ganache.


The lids and ribbon are fondant.


I made four flavors of chocolate truffles, to "fill" the box: raspberry chocolate, mocha, white chocolate champagne, and amaretto. The amaretto was sinfully delicious! I'll be making that again.


I made 11 of them for the party, and I'll be making another eight tomorrow for all of Christian's teachers.


I also made the boxes and tags. 


Too bad you can't smell this! Pure heaven.


They're so adorable, all boxed up and ready to go.


This was my first attempt at iron-on vinyl. I did three layers: silver, black and white. I love how it turned out!


I had my nails done, and coincidentally, they matched my heels! I wore zebra-striped 6-inch heels, with a red crocodile toe and heel. LOOOOOOVE those shoes!


My friend, Karon, and I rode together. She put pink highlights in her hair for the party!


As a hostess gift, I etched Carolyn's initials into a glass vase.


Karon's valentine box tied for first place! She made a papier mache bee. He was as big as Cavan!


My hat won first place in the Best Hat category. Carolyn wanted to give everyone a chance to win a prize, so you could only win one category... but she loved my valentines so much, that she gave me a little something extra!

We did a gift exchange, and I got a gift card to Hobby Lobby! It was the perfect size. :)

I etched another vase (which I forgot to get a picture of!) with various leaves all over it. Another guest opened it, but Carolyn loved it so much that she stole it when it was her turn to pick a gift! So she ended up with two etched glass vases.

I had so much fun! The food was amazing, and Carolyn planned some creative games, none of which I won! I went home stuffed and happy.

Which is exactly how I love to leave a party.