Thursday, May 31, 2012

Pressure

Out of all my pregnancies, I hesitate to say this one has (maybe) been the easiest on me.

Except for the whole sciatic nerve pain.

That's baaaaaaaad.

And the lack of sleep.

But I remember trying to sleep sitting up with the others, because if I slept lying down, I'd wake up choking on vomit. Which is really not a pleasant way to wake up. Three or four times a night.

It's only happened three or four times with this one... not in a night; at all.

It was the absolute worst with Cavan. I couldn't eat anything (and was only able to drink very small amounts of water) after about 3 pm, or it happened several times a night. With the others, it only happened if I ate something right before bed. I even moved into the living room, into a chair to sleep, with him. It was AWFUL. Probably because he was so. freaking. huge. I remember not being able to even roll over in bed.

Christian was a big baby, too, which is probably why I was in so much pain with her at the end. And just really, really ready for her to be born. I remember sitting in her nursery, rocking in the chair, just waiting for her, and wondering what she would look like.

This one is completely different.

At least I don't have to sleep sitting up.

We don't even have a crib set up yet, which is insane, considering I'm due in two weeks.

Her room is finally starting to take shape, though. I mean that literally. She finally has walls and a window.

So, you know, progress.

People keep asking me if I'm ready.

Really, the answer is no. I'm not.

Even though I'm miserable, and exhausted, and in pain, I'm not ready.

If she came today, we'd muddle through, but there are so many things I want to do and to happen before she arrives.

Choosing a name would also be nice.

Hubs says I'm nesting, and starting to walk funny, so he thinks it's going to be soon.

I won't say what I told him.

No uterus; no opinion.

But the other night I was in the bathtub just before bed, as usual, when I began to feel overwhelming pressure. Pressure so strong, I couldn't even concentrate on the book I was reading.

Right then, I felt tightening all around just under my belly, almost as if someone were cinching a belt. But it wasn't a normal contraction, in that only the lower half of my abdomen was tight, instead of all the way up.

The tightening came in went, but the pressure didn't. It was VERY intense.

I had a thought that if my water broke while I was in the bath, I probably wouldn't know it.

So I got out, and went to bed.

Where I lay awake for the next three hours, feeling that INTENSE pressure, and the strange tightening.

I was just waiting for my water to break.

I finally fell asleep, and when I woke up the next morning, the pressure was gone.

Weird.

It's happened since then, too.

For HOURS.

I think with this one, the nerve pain has been the worst. It will stop me in my tracks, or wake me out of a sound sleep. Or even just keep me awake at night.

Enough complaining.

For now.




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