Tuesday, February 28, 2012

I'm Burying the Title of This Post at the Bottom

You'll thank me in a bit.

Yesterday morning, as is my habit, I got Cullen out of his bed and brought him to mine.

Hubs takes Christian to school around 7:30, and I usually get up at that time and get Cullen. If I allow him to stay in his bed, he will wake Cavan up, long before Cavan is ready. If I make Cullen come "sleep" in my bed with me, it usually buys me another hour or two of sleep, and both boys are more rested.

Yesterday when Cullen and I got up, he went to check on Cavan, while I stopped to get a drink of water. I quickly noticed the boys' door was open, and their light was already on.

Cullen was standing at their door, staring into their room, and being eerily quiet as he watched his little brother.

So I had a sneaking suspicion something was wrong.

Cavan wasn't wearing the pajamas he went to bed in the night before.

Cavan wasn't even wearing the diaper he went to bed in the night before.

He was completely naked.

He had apparently pooped in his diaper, and instead of calling for me, he took it upon himself to remove said diaper.

He put on a pair of underwear, which, at some point, he peed in, and completely soaked.

So he took those off, and put on another pair. Those were apparently uncomfortable, what with all the poop on his body, so he just discarded those, too.

There was poop everywhere. He had smeared it all over the floor, and all over the bathroom door. His hands, feet and legs were covered with it.

So before I had so much as a bite of toast or sip of caffeine, I was scrubbing poop off the floor (a dark wood floor, which made it hard to see where it all was. Fun game: Find the Poo.) and the bathroom door. I'm not sure why or how, but there were also little balls of it inside the bathroom. I don't know if he invented a new game, and was rolling it under the door, or what.

My next job was to clean all the fabrics in the room, including, but not limited to: blankets, sheets, pillowcases, stuffed animals, pillows, clothing, curtains, etc...

I got him out of the bath (where I had stashed him while I cleaned) and put fresh underwear on him, along with a pair of plastic, waterproof underwear that I just found at Target this past weekend. I thought maybe he wouldn't like the feeling of being soaked or dirty, if there wasn't a diaper to wick it all away.

Was I ever wrong.

Could not be more wrong.

Basically, the plastic underwear trapped all the nastiness inside, so I had no idea it was even there, until Cavan was jumping on Cullen, and Cullen said Cavan smelled bad.


Mind you, I had been asking him every few minutes if he needed to go potty.

So I took him into my bathroom, removed his shorts and the plastic underwear, and was met with a stench so powerful it turns my stomach just thinking about it.

It was as if the plastic trapped all his body heat, cooked the nastiness, and magnified the smell. I've smelled that smell before. Usually I smell it when Cavan has an accident, and somebody wraps his nasty clothes in a plastic bag, and never tells me about it. When I find the package, days later, the smell has mutated into something so grotesque it doesn't bear thinking about.

So I took the nasty clothes off, went to wash them, too, and scrubbed him. Again.

I put him in a diaper, and put the boys down for a nap.

When they got up, I put Cavan in clean underwear, and a new pair of plastic underwear.

And a couple hours later, repeated my afternoon all over again. Except this time, after he had pooped in his underwear, he took them off and threw them in the trash, hoping I wouldn't find out.

So I was cleaning up poo, for the THIRD time in one day.

And now, for the title of my post...

It Was A Shitty Day

So sorry, but it really and truly was.


Melanie said...

Holy Cow--I don't know how you survived all of that. Those boys keep you on your toes--you should take up ballet!

Anonymous said...

sorry u had a horrible day.. from such sweet kids... cavan is a hoot...hope u have a better day soon..papaw says boys will be boys..if he only knew...love u lots just remember it gets worse when they are teens no matter how good they are or not... bamaw

Anonymous said...

I feel for you! You have to clean up way too many messes. Gotta get Cavan potty trained before the new baby gets here. He must have heard me talking about what my sister used to do. ph

MaryAnne said...

Hoping, hoping, hoping I NEVER have to face this piece of parenting - I've lucked out so far!

Kelsey said...

Wait...you mean to tell me you don't enjoy being elbow deep in feces?? Especially with the added benefit of your enhanced sense of smell and gag reflex? What's wrong with you?!


Sorry for your awful day. I feel for you. Hang in there!